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The Last Laugh
IN THE CUP!
The winds were angry that day on Maui, my friends, as I stood on the Par 3 16th tee at Kahili Country Club. I felt confident with my new clubs; I felt confident I was finally understanding how to play this incredibly fascinating, yet, frustrating game.
The 16th green was 116 yards away, slightly uphill with a nasty crosswind blowing right to left. A typical Hawaii hole. I'd come to expect two things playing golf in Hawaii: you need a sherpa to caddie up and down the hillsides; and a mild breeze is anything below a Catagory 4 hurricane. Hitting a golf ball dead into the wind (and every hole seems to be dead into the wind) is actually dangerous because the ball can, and does, come right back at you in an effort to bonk you on the head. With these two thoughts in mind I had to hit the ball over a sand trap to an elevated green. I could see the top of the flag stick but not the green itself,which, of course, was sloping left to right. This meant I was hitting to a blind pin into a 25 mph right to left wind over a sand trap to a sloping green I couldn't see. No problem, at least that's what you have to tell yourself or you couldn't even swing the club from paralizing fear.
I chose a 9-iron to get through the wind and over the trap. I lined up the shot and let it fly. As soon as I hit the ball I thought, "hey, that should be close." It just felt right. I made sure to keep my head down so I didn't even see the ball leave the tee but knew immediately it had a chance to not only get on the green but maybe even near the cup. Then I had a freightening thought - I actually wanted one of the idiots you hear on TV yell, "in the cup!" I think these morons should have a special place reserved in Hell, right next to people who talk in a movie theater (Shut up. It's a moving picture. You'll see what's going to happen). Do these loudmouths actually think yelling "in the cup" to an inanimate object is going to make the ball go into the cup? As if half-way to the hole the ball is suddenly going to develop the power of independent thought. "In the cup? What a marvelous idea. Yes, I believe I will go in the cup." For all the good it's going to do they may as well yell at Tiger to get in the cup.
Well, it turns out I didn't need a dufus yelling anything because my ball went up into the wind, bent slightly to the left, flew over the trap, took one bounce and rolled straight into the cup for a hole in one! My friends went nuts, the foursome in front of us went nuts but I missed seeing it because I was to busy yelling "in the cup." Now, I yell it on every shot. Hey, it worked for me.
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